Audio Guru

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"The Audio Guru" aka Heinrich Heinz is a con-artist who Tom called in response to a listener named Todd who called in to complain about the sound quality of WFMU. Todd claimed that he was picking up on "some amplitude distortion" and "thermal runaway" with the transducer, as well as some "refraction." He suggested that Tom consult and hire someone named Heinrich or "The Audio Guru," who he claimed had "ears of crystal." In contrast Heinrich referred to everyone else with untrained ears as "the ape-eared."

Todd had encountered The Guru at a record store in Newbridge as he was about to purchase a gold pressing of a Steely Dan CD. The Guru invented the character Heinrich and began speaking to Todd in a phony German accent and convinced him to become his devout follower. The Guru proceeded to follow Todd home and throw his stereo out his second story window. What Todd didn't know is that there was a mattress below, saving the equipment for The Guru to sell for profit. He then puchases a generic stereo system from the local Radio Hut run by Jeff Cooper, and sells it back to Todd for far more than he paid for it, claiming that it was the ultimate stereo system.

We come to find that The Guru is ripping off eight people on the same scam and offers to get Tom in on the take. He refers to himself as an "audio pimp" and claims that he's going to turn Tom out as his first "audio hooker." The Guru attempts to stalk Tom and when he asks what station he's on, is given the fake call letters of WNOYFB. "Add those call letters up and you'll get the hint."--Admiralty 13:02, 9 October 2006 (PDT)