Crawlspaces and Cheesesteaks

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Crawlspaces & Cheesesteaks is a fontasy board game created by Philly Boy Roy. The game is inspired by Dungeons & Dragons and takes place in the magical world of Philadelphia. PBR called Tom on 3/28/06 to discuss the game.

Game Overview

A player rolls dice to become any one of hundreds of famous Philadelphians from its founding in 1682 to the present. For example, you could take on the form of Ben Franklin, TO, Betsy Ross, Frank Rizzo, or even the drummer from Man-Man. (Tom had not heard of that band and neither has PBR, but PBR says they are the hippest band out there now and 37 times more far out than the The West Cost Experimental Pop Band's cover of Frank Zappa's "Help I’m a Rock", which Tom accidentally played a few minutes earlier.) Once you've morphed into a Philly hero, you can traverse the city to stomp out evildoers such as Aaron Burr, Albert Einstein, Brian DePalma, Frank Sinatra, Bruce Springsteen, Martha Stewart, and Southside Johnny. Tom points out that these victims are all from New Jersey, something that just dawned on PBR. He's fine with it because he believes NJ is "Evil Central: Ground Zero" and smells like an armpit ... or a crotch.

In C&C, you can also roll dice to become characters from The Sopranos and take on New Jersey evildoers. Tom points out that the show takes place in New Jersey and PBR calls for him to "holdonasecondthere!" PBR claims the show is about a Philadelphia singing group and notes that the opening credits show the lead character -- Fred Detweiler -- driving south on the NJ Turnpike en route to what appears to be either Lansdale or Ambler. [This sparks a lengthy discussion about PBR's alternate-universe version of the show.]


Later in the call, PBR informs Tom that he killed him in a recent game of C&C. He flew across the city as Julius Erving and stabbed Tom in the face with sharpened peanut chews because he was trying to suck the funny out of David Brenner. He promises to do it again with future Scharpling kills coming from a juggler vein severed by a throwing star made from a sharpened Kandy Kake.