Existentially unfunny

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A comedy bit, joke, or other material that is intended to be funny, but is not -- and is in fact so unfunny that its degree of unfunniness cannot be comprehended by those who hear it.

Tom used this phrase to describe a call to the Best Show by longtime Friend of Tom and Best Show favorite son Petey, who announced during his short call, "This is Bill Purry." Tom expressed his distaste for Petey's ill-fated levity, calling it "existentially unfunny."