Fred

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Fred is a filthy junkie from Queens who first called the show on 6/20/06. Tom asks him what he did that day and he responds with "nothing 420", a clever and sly drug reference. Fred somehow locked into the station and was pleased to hear Jim E. Hendrix and Ike and Tina Turner, but was then disappointed by all sorts of "boring stuff". He wonders why on Earth anyone would subject themselves to the show when life has so many wonderful things to offer. Tom thinks it’s wonderful to not complain and tells him to go play Hendrix records. Fred becomes more aggressive, telling Tom to "play some more music and shut up." This was a bad move by Fred, because as we've seen with the Tall Bike battles, Tom is not afraid of anyone. He promises to punch Fred in the face and knock his dirty pothead block off. Tom envisions a battle royale on the Triboro Bridge that will be similar in scope to the Spidey vs. Doc Ock rumbles.

Fred calls back to tell Tom that he wants to meet on the 59th Street bridge in one hour to settle the dispute. He then unmasks Tom as an artificial Howard Stern who employs deep sarcasm when he should be playing more music Ike & Tina, Hendrix, Coil, Black Sabbath, or Phillip Glass. Tom adds Throbbing Gristle and Nurse With Wound to the playlist. Fred's requests a Sex Pistols song, but can't recall the title so he directs Tom to play the good, trippy one. Tom's proud to be operating on a sober wavelength and not residing on Planet Fred. Fred's so high he can't even remember his own 420 drug reference, and Tom suspects the whole thing was a bit.

Fred returns on 6/27/06 to warn "John Scharpie" about messing with a dude like Chad Shackleford. He also didn't like that Tom called him a dirty junkie 55 times the previous week, but does nothing to suggest that the claim was false. He wants to know if Tom's a junkie and says he used the term "420" last week because in Sweden, it means that everything is OK. Just before getting dismissed, Fred asks "John Scharpie" what a podcast is.

Fred calls back and wonders why Tom is being so harsh on him. He remembered the Sex Pistols song he tried to request last week: "I Just Wanna Be Sedated". Tom GOMPs Fred for being a moron.