Newbridge

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Regular listeners of the Best Show will recognize Newbridge, NJ not only as the home of Tom Scharpling, but of many of the show's most colorful, amoral, creepy, opportunistic, moronic, perverted, sexist, racist, right-wing, grammatically challenged, coked-up callers as well. Beneath its stale, suburban façade, Newbridge is clearly teeming with social disease and rotting away with corruption.


America's Filth Can?

The town's ills are legion: Grown men threaten to make their neighbors eat a lawnmower; "Go die" is a more common phrase than "goodbye;" Parents force their children to pick the switch that they are to be beaten with from the backyard; Residents grow fat while eating "batter buttled" fare; Teenagers drift aimlessly, giving each other "swirlies" and listening to toilet rock; People and stray dogs wander in to seedy establishments like The Love Nest and Adult Mania which increasingly dominate Muffler Row; The town's water commissioner is thoroughly mobbed up; The Lady Foot Locker has been abandoned. Above all though, there is the seemingly incessant use of cocaine. If William Butler Yeats were alive to survey Newbridge today, he might conclude:

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
are full of Bolivian marching powder