Rodriguo

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Rodriguo is a former drummer who became a salesman. His first call to the Best Show was a misguided attempt to get on the Radio Home Shopping Network. He had been on a home shopping network earlier in the week to promote the Shaquille O'Neal fanny pack.

As a drummer, Rodriguo played with artists including Blink 182, on their album "You Take off Your Pants and You Jack It," which Tom notes is not quite the right title.


The Drum Pin

Rodriguo sells what he initially describes as a four-piece drum set - a bass drum, snare drum, hi-hat and right cymbal - for the unbelieveable price of $189. He plays several styles of music on the drum throughout the call.

He eventually reveals the drum set to be in the form of a 2-inch by 1-inch pin. You need the Rodriguo miking system to make it sound right, which sells for a slightly higher $7,000.

Rodriguo, much like Hippy Johnny, prompts angry emails to Tom decrying his lousy products. Also like HJ, he spends several minutes listing dozens of people's names (634 according to the second call).

Rodriguo starts with Bill Thompson, then finds the first name "David" and eventually moves all the way through the alphabet to find the right letter of the last name ("R"), then works through about ten David Rs in attempt to find the right one.

The right one in this case is Dave Reese - Junior. Reese, Jr. and his father "are what I would refer to as the banes of Rodriguo's existence," he says, although he has several hundred lawsuits pending against him and gets a couple more by email during the call.

Rodriguo's Background

Tom wises up to Rodriguo's changing accent throughout the call. Initially, Rodriguo passes this off as having grown up in many locales, from his birthplace in Cyprus to London, Bali, Nepal, Havana, Dubuque, halifax NS, Toronto, Moscow The Staten Island and Romania. "It all adds up to make Rodriguo," he says. In Rodriguo's second call, Tom notes that all of Rodriguo's statements sound like questions.

Toward the end of the first call, Rodriguo reveals (prompted by a debunking email to Tom) that his actual name is Rodney, as in "Rod Riguo."

At the very end of the first call, Rodriguo drops the accent entirely and tells Tom, "ah, why don't you go die?"

Second Call

The second Rodriguo call is preceded by a call from Mike Dornton, a professional drummer and short term member of the Gas Station Dogs who had bought the drum pin and found it incredible. Dornton sounds a lot like an unaccented Rodriguo.

During his second call, Rodriguo repeatedly reads the disclaimer, "the drum set is an ornament and should be considered as such. No claims are made by the pin's manufacturer stating that the pin is anything but an ornament."

He then tries to sell Tom a new vitamin from Kern Pharmaceuticals that has all the vitamins except Vitamin D. Kern has been barred from manufacturing anything with Vitamin D due to heart stoppage problems.

Rodriguo wants Tom to change the name of the Best Show to the KernDriguo Multivitamin Radio Three Hours.

Rodriguo also hypes Rodriguo's toilet, the sturdiest on the market. He wants Tom to sit on the toilet and advertise his use of the product by saying "this toilet kicks ass."

Tom dismisses Rodriguo as a charlatan and a fraud and Rodriguo signs off with, "you can go and, as we say where Rodriguo comes from, you can suck it?"