Tall Bike Premium Scottish Brown Ale

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Purple Shirt's homebrewed creation, Tall Bike Premium Scottish Brown Ale is a pungent ale laced with strychnine and LSD. Only potable to the hardened stomachs of Brooklyn mutants and tall-biking street filth, Tall Bike Ale is lethal to anyone else who might try to consume it. After the intital brewing, the mixture is strained through a filthy old Japanther t-shirt, and then flavored with chunks cut from Purple Shirt's collection of retired white belts. The flavor can vary, depending on the condition of the white belt when it was retired (some Brooklyn residents have shown a preference for extra-sweat soaked belts). When not drinking dumpster water from a tin cup, or sipping cocktails with Ralph Lauren, tall bikers are surely chugging bottle after unwashed bottle of refreshing Tall Bike Ale.


Upon orders from his Tall Bike superiors, Purple Shirt once hand-delivered a bottle of Tall Bike Ale to WFMU, under the guise of hosting an episode of The Listener Hour. While a foul-mouthed Brooklyn child-mutant created a diversion, Purple Shirt made the drop, intending to poison Tom with the dosed beer. Tom, however, was unfazed by this ruse and flushed the toxic swill down the turlet, chucking the empty bottle into the WFMU incinerator. Another victory for freedom!