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Many of Jon Wurster's characters tend to share common nonsensical phrases, obscure references, syntactical idiosyncracies and malapropisms. These have come to be known as "Wursterisms" by members of the Friends of Tom messageboard.


  • Derisively referring to WFMU as a "high school radio station" (or less frequently, "public radio station" or "ham radio" station)
  • "...madder than a rattlesnake at a Thai wedding."
  • "You don't call me a ______, I call YOU a ______"
  • "Stroke books" (pornography)
  • "It's either my way, or the you die way"
  • Calling Tom "Son"
  • "I'm not on the air, am I?"
  • "Wait, whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut?"
  • "I agree with everything you said, with the exception of the word ________"
  • Referring to jail or prison as "The Hut" (i.e. Butt Hut)
  • "Can I say _____ on the radio?"
  • "Define ______"
  • "S-Hit List"
  • Educational directives/queries, e.g., Telling Tom to return to school and/or asking Tom where he went to school for a given discipline (e.g., Craig Cooper's recent query about Tom's matriculation at "technology school", various comments about going to "radio school", etc.)
  • References to eating lawnmowers or weedwackers
  • Stabbing/ripping out someones "juggler" vein
  • Asking Tom if he has any "ins" in various "worlds" (e.g., "Do you have any ins in the publishing world?")
  • Something is always "two doors down from where the Lady Footlocker used to be" at Newbridge Commons.
  • "Heart stoppage" (often mentioned in passing when quickly reading a list of a product's potential health side-effects)
  • "He packs and gets packed"
  • "You don't deserve to have a radio show"
  • "What did I say?"
  • Referring to laser beams as "laser beans"
  • "Open your ears, you (usually jerk)"
  • Admonishing Tom with "Don't judge" after a character has revealed involvement in something morally or legally questionable, or asking "Why?" as though he can't understand what's so bad about it (e.g. "Playing with my noodle. Why?")